June 12 2008 12:09PM
Man, is Daryl “Kay-Z” Katz a sho’ ‘nuff pimp-trick gangster! There was word this week that hilarious fallen douche Peter Pocklington has sold his five Stanley Cup rings on some net auction for a total of almost $300,000. The buyer is anonymous thus far, but the list of people that would lay out $300K for five Oilers rings is a pretty short list that consists of:
- Daryl Katz
- Mrs. Daryl Katz buying a fathers day present for Daryl Katz.
- Daryl Katz
Word is that Pocklington is selling the rings "to finance his grandchildren’s educations." Riiight. We suppose saying he was selling the rings "to finance arms deals in Iran, or to bankroll elementary school drug deals or anything else shady to make a buck" wouldn't be good form. Well, we said it, Puck, you sheister.
Anyhoo, there are five things you can count on:
- Katz bought the five rings for $300,000. Guaranteed.
- He ain’t telling anyone its him, especially lame TSN media types.
- They’re going in a special $500,000 display case he had built made of solid gold, diamonds and the shredded remains of Oilers contracts of yore.
- The case has space for more rings that he intends to fill shortly.
- Katz is going to take the rings when they arrive, put one on each finger, and call a meeting of KLowe and MacT. He’ll walk into the meeting and yell, "I don't want to hear one word about how many rings either of you have! I have all five rings too! You know how I got em? Money! Now go get me a sixth ring or I will use more of my money to have you both buried in the parking lot, and bring in a new regime!"
He will then punch each of them in the face with the five-ringed fist and leave the room.
Man, what a gangster.